Showing posts with label ABGTC: Book Extras. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ABGTC: Book Extras. Show all posts

Friday, 13 August 2021

Genre-Swap Short Story: Oh, Crumbs

 



My local writing group recently set a challenge, where we'd take a character from our books, plonk them into another genre and write a 500 word short story. So I took Ruth, my rom com heroine from the Beginner's Guide series (I was working on A Beginner's Guide To Family Life at the time) and popped her into a Downton Abbey-style historical setting. Ruth doesn't react too well to authority so it was a lot of fun to write and see how she'd handle being a maid in a manor house.




Oh, Crumbs


Oh, crumbs. Literally. I had little morsels scattered down my apron and Lady Shuttleworth was standing in the doorway of the library, her voice so crisp and icy it made the temperature in the room plummet.

    ‘What on earth are you doing in here?’
    I didn’t dare turn around. Not while my apron was littered with the evidence of the pilfered biscuit. It had seemed like a fun idea as I’d swiped the still-warm biscuit from the kitchen, relishing the little yelp of shock when Quinn spied the misdeed. Her hand covered her mouth, her eyes widening as I slipped the biscuit into my pocket. The new scullery maid was jumpy and fragile, as though a stern look could shatter her into a million pieces. She hadn’t yet learned to push the boundaries at Woodgate Manor, that these little acts of defiance were thrilling and gave a jolt of pleasure that counteracted – briefly – the drudgery of scrubbing pans and emptying chamber pots.
    But only as long as you didn’t get caught.
    ‘Well?’
    I still didn’t dare turn around, but I could hear the tap of Lady Shuttleworth’s foot. I’d attempted to brush the crumbs away, with tiny, covert movements, but the room was dark, even with the door wide open, and I wasn’t convinced I’d managed to rid myself of the damning evidence.
    ‘I was looking for a bible, m’Lady.’ Leaning over to peer at the bookshelves, I furtively swiped at my apron. ‘But I cannot find one anywhere in the house.’
    My tone was innocent, but my words were shaming. Lady Shuttleworth stepped back, allowing more light to flood into the library. I had a quick peep down at my apron. I couldn’t see any crumbs, but the eagle-eyed lady of the house would pounce at the tiniest fragment.
    ‘Now isn’t the time. Lady Harper will be arriving soon for tea.’
    I almost snorted with derision but managed to catch myself in time. Lady Harper. The girl may have a husband now, but she’d always be Lindsay Shuttleworth to me. The girl whose hair I’d brushed every morning and helped to dress. The girl who’d hidden the little red marks at her throat with high necklines and scarves after a night at the funfair with her ‘respectable’ friends. The girl who’d begged me not to mention them. And I hadn’t said a word to anyone, not even to the other maids, even though the words were burning inside my mouth. Not that Lindsay – Lady Harper – was grateful. For any of it. The secrets I’d kept. The hair-brushing and the dressing. The chamber pots. Which is why nabbing one of those buttery, melt-in-the-mouth biscuits from the plate would be worth it, whatever the consequences.
    I turned, marching with my head held high from the library. Lady Shuttleworth watched me, eyes narrowed to mean little slits as I passed, but she didn’t utter a word. If there was a stray crumb, she hadn’t spotted it. I’d got away with it. Again.



If you'd like to read the Beginner's Guide series, you can find them on Amazon UK and Amazon US or you can buy signed copies here


Friday, 5 December 2014

A Beginner's Guide To Christmas: Ruth's Festive Favourites



As Christmas is approaching, Ruth has decided to share her festive favourites. We'd love to hear about yours too - let us know in the comments below!



Food

You can't beat a good old fashioned Christmas dinner with all the trimmings. I'll even tolerate sprouts one day a year (it is a special occasion, after all).

Drink

I could choose mulled wine or a delicious cocktail but hot chocolates are a firm favourite of mine during the colder months. At Christmas, it has to have marshmallows and whipped cream too (it is a special occasion, after all).

Film

This has to be Love Actually. Richard Curtis films are legendary anyway, but add Christmas into the mix and you've got yourself a perfect film!

Music

2 Become 1 by The Spice Girls. It's not overly festive but it's played a LOT at Christmastime (which is no bad thing!)

TV

There's such a lot to choose from but, for me, it has to be The Vicar of Dibley Christmas special where Geraldine ends up having (but not really enjoying) several Christmas lunches.


Five Quick Fire Festives:

Tree: Real or Fake
 Fake! I love a Christmas tree but I don't want to have to clean up after it!

Mince pies or Christmas pudding?
Both? (It is a special occasion, after all)

Fairy lights: white or multi-colour?
Definitely multi-colour. The brighter and gaudier the better!

Tree topper: angel or star?
Angel! Far prettier.

Wizzard or Slade?
Tough one! I'm going with Wizzard for two reasons - top beard and I really do wish it could be Christmas every day.




Ruth usually spends Christmas curled up on her parents’ sofa, watching feel-good movies whilst being fed festive food and drink until she can no longer move. But Ruth’s perfect Christmas is shattered when her mum receives a DIY-induced injury and Ruth is forced to take over the preparations.

Shopping. Cooking. A house full of hyped-up kids.

Christmas may no longer be the most wonderful time of the year.


Download for FREE 


http://www.jenniferjoycewrites.co.uk/search/label/ABGTC%3A%20Book%20Extras


Monday, 24 November 2014

Ruth's Guide To Christmas Outfits



Ruth likes to dress up so Christmas is the perfect time for shopping! She'd like to share her favourite outfits this season.


There are so many things happening during the festive season, from office parties, to socialising with friends and family and, of course, the main event of Christmas dinner. I've been doing a lot of shopping to make sure I have outfits for every eventuality. Here are my favourites:

Event: Office Party


I love this dress, with its floral lace pattern and skirt that is ideal for dancing (think of the twirls). I'd team it with these gorgeous silver/black platform court shoes





Event: drinks with friends


I love wearing dresses and I adore prints, so this dress is perfect for meeting up with friends for a few festive drinks!

I'd team it up with a pair of knee-length boots and a purple satin clutch bag to add a bit of bling







Event: Christmas Dinner

I like to feel comfortable on Christmas Day (especially after I've stuffed myself with my mum's gorgeous turkey with all the trimmings. Plus Christmas pudding. And chocolate) so I'll be wearing this tunic. I love the colour and the sequin detail adds a bit of festive sparkle


I'd team the tunic with leggings and some glittery peep-toe heels to add a bit more sparkle (you can never have too much sparkle at Christmas!)





Event: The Whole Festive Period

Everybody needs a festive jumper! I love this Rudolph jumper with pom-pom nose from Yours Clothing.



I wish you all a very merry Christmas - whatever you're wearing!




Ruth usually spends Christmas curled up on her parents’ sofa, watching feel-good movies whilst being fed festive food and drink until she can no longer move. But Ruth’s perfect Christmas is shattered when her mum receives a DIY-induced injury and Ruth is forced to take over the preparations.

Shopping. Cooking. A house full of hyped-up kids.

Christmas may no longer be the most wonderful time of the year.


Download for FREE 


Monday, 17 November 2014

Ruth's Top 5 Tips for Surviving Christmas



Today, A Beginner's Guide To Christmas's Ruth will be sharing her Top 5 Tips for surviving Christmas!



In A Beginner's Guide To Christmas, I share my tips on how to survive the festive period (usually when something goes wrong as I try to organise my family's Christmas for the first and last time).

So I thought I would share my Top 5 Tips for a smooth(ish) Christmas. Follows these guidelines and you too could have the perfect* Christmas.

1 - Do Not Leave Your Christmas Shopping Until The Last Minute

I cannot stress this enough. We've all done it, haven't we? It's Christmas Eve and you think you've got plenty of time. Wrong! You end up buying your mum a loo brush and your dad a shot glass with 'Best Dad Ever' on it even though he doesn't drink shots. Ever.

Panic buying isn't cool. It's stressful and sucks all of the fun out of Christmas shopping and the festive season in general. Listening to Slade being piped throughout the shopping centre is no longer a joyous occasion. It's a countdown. There are only three more songs left until the shops close and you still have five presents to locate and buy. On your marks, get set, go! *cue disappointment and loo brushes*

It just isn't worth it. Leave plenty of time to do your shopping. You'll thank me for it later.

You won't thank me for it. You'll be too busy panic buying while Slade wishes everybody a merry Christmas. I'll see you there. With my mum's loo brush.

2 - Don't try to bake/craft this Christmas

Or any other Christmas. I suggest blocking Pinterest so you're not tempting to give something a go. Oh, those biscuits shaped like elves with edible glitter look easy enough. Wrong! They will not be easy. They will be biscuits designed by the devil himself, the recipe sent out to torment you while you should be enjoying a relaxing Christmas with your feet up in front of the telly.

Christmas is stressful enough. Don't add to it by trying to be fancy. Buy biscuits. Buy decorations. Stay away from Pinterest.

3 - Avoid children at all costs

Christmas is all about the kids? Yeah, right. Christmas is ruined by kids. Avoid, avoid, avoid. Even if they're your own.

4 - Don't forget the batteries

If you simply can't avoid the little darlings (said sarcastly, obv), make sure you stock up on batteries before Christmas. Buy every size going. Yes, even those little watch-sized ones. Because if you don't own a pack of AAAA batteries, you will need them for a toy on Christmas Day.

No batteries = no peace and goodwill

5 - Invite yourself to somebody else's Christmas

This is the best tip if you can pull it off. Wrangle yourself an invite to somebody else's Christmas (where they're the poor suckers who have to prepare and cook and make everything fancy) and you're onto a winner. If you can somehow make it snow, you can arrive just as the turkey is being served (and with a perfect, plausible excuse) without having to help at all. Bonus!


*Not guaranteed. After all, what do I know? I'm a total beginner here too. As long as you all survive pretty much intact, mark it down as a win.




Ruth usually spends Christmas curled up on her parents’ sofa, watching feel-good movies whilst being fed festive food and drink until she can no longer move. But Ruth’s perfect Christmas is shattered when her mum receives a DIY-induced injury and Ruth is forced to take over the preparations.

Shopping. Cooking. A house full of hyped-up kids.

Christmas may no longer be the most wonderful time of the year.


Download for FREE 


http://www.jenniferjoycewrites.co.uk/search/label/ABGTC%3A%20Book%20Extras

Thursday, 13 November 2014

A Beginner's Guide To Christmas - The Pinterest Board


I joined Pinterest a bit late - only a few months ago - and since then I've been a bit obsessed! I have boards for A Beginner's Guide To Salad and Everything Changes But You and now I have a board for my festive short story, A Beginner's Guide To Christmas too!

A Beginner's Guide To Christmas is a free festive short story that follows Ruth as she organises her family's Christmas for the first time. You can download A Beginner's Guide To Christmas from Amazon here

The pictures I've pinned are mostly funny ones with tongue in cheek top tips and guides.

http://www.pinterest.com/jennijoycepins/a-beginners-guide-to-christmas/

You can view the Pinterest for A Beginner's Guide To Christmas here


http://www.pinterest.com/jennijoycepins/a-beginners-guide-to-christmas/




Ruth usually spends Christmas curled up on her parents’ sofa, watching feel-good movies whilst being fed festive food and drink until she can no longer move. But Ruth’s perfect Christmas is shattered when her mum receives a DIY-induced injury and Ruth is forced to take over the preparations.

Shopping. Cooking. A house full of hyped-up kids.

Christmas may no longer be the most wonderful time of the year.


Download for FREE 


http://www.jenniferjoycewrites.co.uk/search/label/ABGTC%3A%20Book%20Extras

Thursday, 12 December 2013

Gingerbread Snowmen



In my festive short story, A Beginner's Guide To Christmas, Ruth has pretty major problems when it comes to baking a batch of gingerbread snowmen, but I have an easy recipe that even Ruth should be able to manage...

Ingredients:

150g plain flour
1tsp ground ginger
75g butter
50g caster sugar
2tbsp golden syrup

Place the flour, ginger and butter in a bowl and rub until it resembles fine breadcrumbs.

Add the caster sugar and golden syrup and mix together until you have a dough.

Wrap the dough in cling film and pop in the fridge for at least an hour. Go and put your feet up with a cup of tea. DO NOT use this time to do housework. It's against the rules, ok?

... at least an hour later

Pre-heat the oven to 170C

Take the dough out of the fridge and remove cling film (I have to point this out in case Ruth is reading). Knead lightly then roll out onto a floured surface.

Cut out your snowmen shapes (or whatever shape you want. It doesn't have to be snowmen. It doesn't even have to be Christmassy. They're your biscuits, you choose).

Place your snowmen (or other shapes) onto a baking sheet and bake for 10-15 minutes.

Remove from oven and transfer to a wire rack.

If you're decorating (which you don't have to - your biscuits, your choice), allow the biscuits to cool completely first.




Ruth usually spends Christmas curled up on her parents’ sofa, watching feel-good movies whilst being fed festive food and drink until she can no longer move. But Ruth’s perfect Christmas is shattered when her mum receives a DIY-induced injury and Ruth is forced to take over the preparations.

Shopping. Cooking. A house full of hyped-up kids.

Christmas may no longer be the most wonderful time of the year.


Download for FREE 


http://www.jenniferjoycewrites.co.uk/search/label/ABGTC%3A%20Book%20Extras

Tuesday, 3 December 2013

Ruth's Christmas Playlist


Ruth loves nothing more than a bit of cheesy pop, so I've put together a festive playlist she would LOVE. I hope you enjoy it as much as Ruth!



Do you have a favourite Christmas song? Let us know in the comments below :)

  


Ruth usually spends Christmas curled up on her parents’ sofa, watching feel-good movies whilst being fed festive food and drink until she can no longer move. But Ruth’s perfect Christmas is shattered when her mum receives a DIY-induced injury and Ruth is forced to take over the preparations.

Shopping. Cooking. A house full of hyped-up kids.

Christmas may no longer be the most wonderful time of the year.


Download for FREE 


http://www.jenniferjoycewrites.co.uk/search/label/ABGTC%3A%20Book%20Extras