Wednesday, 14 August 2013

Guest Post: Louise Wise

Beware: Writer at ‘Work’
By
Louise Wise 



Really struggled to get out of bed. Had a late night trying to finish an awkward scene in the novel I’m working on, but ended up playing chess with the computer that resulted in a tense stand-off which lasted almost an hour.

Downstairs, I turn it back on and while it’s starting up I make coffee. Even from the kitchen, I can hear my trusty laptop groaning at another day flicking from Twitter to Facebook to Word doc for a nanosecond before flicking back to Twitter. Ignoring its griping, I pour flakes into a bowl and top it with milk, then pour the coffee. Spooning said flakes into my mouth, I sit before the laptop and open my email. Spam. Spam. Spam. And more spam. Oh! Win a holiday with one click.

I click. And read. And imagine I’ve won the holiday. I think about the new clothes I would have buy; would need a new suitcase, too. And lose weight. My dream ends, and soft ‘coo-coo’ noise of the clock tells me it’s ten o’clock. Already?

I make another coffee, the previous cold, and delete the spam and the holiday. A new email comes in. It’s from a lady whose work I was editing. She’s not happy with the edits. Thinks I was too harsh. Harsh? Learn how to punctuate, muppet!

Ah. Another email comes through from an agent I was hoping to bag. No, she isn’t going to pursue with my submission after all. I hit the exit button. Too early in the morning to deal with, and I don’t feel strong enough. Insufficient caffeine circulating the blood stream for a start! I glug the coffee and wonder about pretending that I hadn’t received it? If I call her and act like I hadn’t, maybe she’ll change her mind?

I open last night’s “awkward scene”. Minimize it, and click on Twitter. Ah, I’ve several messages and RTs that I need to reply to/thank. Oh no! Kate Moss is trending. Has she died? I click and see that it’s her birthday. I wish her happy birthday.

I go into #wip to see how everyone is getting on with their writing. @Flashgit has managed 5k this morning. I unfollow @Flashgit.

@Bitchfeatures is editing her NaNoWriMo novel. She said she wrote in the WHOLE DAMN THING IN A MONTH. I report her for abuse.

I type: On second coffee and still can’t get started #wip

I open up my scene again and re-read aloud to see if it sounds any better. It doesn’t.

Back on Twitter, I see if anyone has answered me. They have. @francinelasala tells me to go for a walk to think things over in my head. Good idea actually. The “me time” is very, very important. Note to self – make more “me time”.

I shower and dress, and immediately feel better. I grab my bag and car keys and out I go. Walk? Is she frigging joking! I head to the shops. Nothing like retail therapy for “me time”.

Several hours later, and a lots of pound lighter (money, not weight – I wish!) I come home. I’ve bought a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. I dump the bags in my wardrobe, but as I open the door a pair of jeans, with the label still on, fall out. I pick them up and remember I bought them last week. They are EXACTLY THE SAME AS THE ONES I JUST BOUGHT!

Oops.

Back at my computer, I check my emails. The agent’s one glares at me (emails can glare, believe me!) and I open it angrily: “the round table isn’t keen on your concept and doesn’t think it’ll sell”. Round table? What is she, bloody King Arthur?

I open Twitter to pour out my woes: Rejected again! Hitting bottle! #wip #submission #reject #author #pissed

I glance at the clock to see if this idea is doable. It’s early afternoon, a little early even for me. I wander back to Twitter and notice I’ve lost three followers. Really depressed now. I call my friend and tell her all about the horrendous day I’m having. She can’t talk because her house was burgled last night and the police are there taking statements. Still, she could have been a little more sympathetic, selfish cow.

At the computer, I open the “awkward scene”.

You know, it reads really good now. Think I’ll keep it after all.




Married, with four children, Louise Wise lives in England. She is a pharmacist technician by day and a writer by night. She was educated in an ordinary state school and left without achieving much in the way of qualifications; you could say she was the result of a crap state-funded school. Hungry for knowledge she enrolled in an Adult Education centre and studied English, maths and creative writing. Whereas other young girls asked for makeup and clothes for their birthdays, she asked for encyclopaedias!

Louise Wise used her general love of romantic fiction and interest in astronomy to write her first published book, Eden. It was an experimental novel and was never meant to see the light of day! She had received many rejections, which stated that the novel was just too original for the current market. An agent took it on but failed to find a publisher for it, this urged Louise into believing in herself as a writer. Since then she believes she has found her niche with romantic comedy.

Her books include: Eden, A Proper Charlie and non-fiction So You Want an Author Platform? And newly released, The Fall of the Misanthrope: I bitch, therefore I am.


You can find out more about Louise and her books on Twitter, Facebook, Pintrest, her Amazon author page or her blog.

1 comment:

  1. An excellent guest post! I loved the humour in it :)

    ReplyDelete

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