Let me first introduce myself. My name is Miv Evans, but my real name is Myfanwy, which is very, very Welsh. For obvious reasons, it was always shortened to Myf but most people, excluding myself, spelled it Miv. After a couple of decades of being called Mife and Meef, I eventually joined the majority, and life became decidedly simpler.
In 2005, I relocated from my home in the UK to Los Angeles and now live in the sunshine. I'm a film critic for Entertainment Magazine and Yahoo! and have 200+ reviews online. The next step from writing articles was a book, which is where I am at the moment.
Step One - fall out of bed.
Step Two - Wander into bathroom.
Step Three - Clean teeth & put conditioner on (dry) hair.
Step Four - Wander into kitchen, put on kettle.
Step Five - Wander into office. Check at least three email addresses (I have seven) and reply if necessary.
Step Six - Wander back into kitchen, make Essiac tea, take it back to office.
Step Seven - Check four remaining email addresses and don’t bother replying. Time is marching on.
Step Eight - Wander into bathroom, wash conditioner off hair (this daily no-shampoo routine does wonders for hair), jump in bath, throw on any clothes as long as they’re as clean as me.
Step Nine - Wander into living room, go on laptop and remain chained for remainder of day, stopping only for lunch (salad because it doesn’t involve cooking) and dinner, which could be anything from a muffin to a packet of oats. Yes, really.
Step Ten – Clean teeth plus use waterpic, splash face, pull on T-shirt and fall into bed.
SECOND BEST DAY
As above but interrupted by -
Step Nine (a) - Phone call/text/Fedex asking me to take delivery of parcel for next door neighbor/neighbor’s dog barking.
THIRD BEST DAY
Steps One to Ten of Second Best Day, plus –
Step Nine (b) – Walk to gym for cycle class at 11.45, return 1.15 pm, continue to Step Ten.
FOURTH BEST DAY
Steps One to Ten, plus -
Step Nine (c) – Go to screening for film. Before starting to write novel, attended screenings five times a week, but now twice a month and studio films only.
FIFTH BEST DAY
Steps one to ten, plus –
Step 9 (d) - which can be trip to supermarket/bank/dentist/hair salon/other essential places.
SIXTH BEST DAY
As fourth best day, plus 9 (e) – which is going out in evening to meet friends. I realize this is bizarre, but as an obsessive writer, everything is a distraction.
As Steps One to Ten, but with at least two of Step 9 (a). Step 9 (b), at least two of 9 (d) and a 9 (e). These days can result in withdrawal.
EVEN WORSE DAY
Novel is finished.
HOW I EXILED MY INNER BITCH (blurb)
Dionne is 36, and still hooked on the imaginary twin she invented to get you through her desolate childhood. With such an odd companion, long-term relationships are impossible and she is doomed to live her life as a serial monogamist, until the Go Along Guy shows up. Greg has denial on intravenous, so Dionne's quirks simply pass him by and, pretty soon, shallow love blossoms. Unfortunately, however, what are also blossoming are Greg's teenage daughters. They don't like Dionne and their hormones are raging.
I am British and relocated to Los Angeles in 2005. I'm a freelance journalist and write film reviews for Yahoo! and Entertainment Magazine. This is my debut novel.
You can find out more about Miv and her novel at www.howiexiledmyinnerbitch.com or on Facebook, Twitter, Goodreads or her blog.