Today, A Beginner's Guide To Christmas's Ruth will be sharing her Top 5 Tips for surviving Christmas!
In A Beginner's Guide To Christmas, I share my tips on how to survive the festive period (usually when something goes wrong as I try to organise my family's Christmas for the first and last time).
So I thought I would share my Top 5 Tips for a smooth(ish) Christmas. Follows these guidelines and you too could have the perfect* Christmas.
1 - Do Not Leave Your Christmas Shopping Until The Last Minute
I cannot stress this enough. We've all done it, haven't we? It's Christmas Eve and you think you've got plenty of time. Wrong! You end up buying your mum a loo brush and your dad a shot glass with 'Best Dad Ever' on it even though he doesn't drink shots. Ever.
Panic buying isn't cool. It's stressful and sucks all of the fun out of Christmas shopping and the festive season in general. Listening to Slade being piped throughout the shopping centre is no longer a joyous occasion. It's a countdown. There are only three more songs left until the shops close and you still have five presents to locate and buy. On your marks, get set, go! *cue disappointment and loo brushes*
It just isn't worth it. Leave plenty of time to do your shopping. You'll thank me for it later.
You won't thank me for it. You'll be too busy panic buying while Slade wishes everybody a merry Christmas. I'll see you there. With my mum's loo brush.
2 - Don't try to bake/craft this Christmas
Or any other Christmas. I suggest blocking Pinterest so you're not tempting to give something a go. Oh, those biscuits shaped like elves with edible glitter look easy enough. Wrong! They will not be easy. They will be biscuits designed by the devil himself, the recipe sent out to torment you while you should be enjoying a relaxing Christmas with your feet up in front of the telly.
Christmas is stressful enough. Don't add to it by trying to be fancy. Buy biscuits. Buy decorations. Stay away from Pinterest.
3 - Avoid children at all costs
Christmas is all about the kids? Yeah, right. Christmas is ruined by kids. Avoid, avoid, avoid. Even if they're your own.
4 - Don't forget the batteries
If you simply can't avoid the little darlings (said sarcastly, obv), make sure you stock up on batteries before Christmas. Buy every size going. Yes, even those little watch-sized ones. Because if you don't own a pack of AAAA batteries, you will need them for a toy on Christmas Day.
No batteries = no peace and goodwill
5 - Invite yourself to somebody else's Christmas
This is the best tip if you can pull it off. Wrangle yourself an invite to somebody else's Christmas (where they're the poor suckers who have to prepare and cook and make everything fancy) and you're onto a winner. If you can somehow make it snow, you can arrive just as the turkey is being served (and with a perfect, plausible excuse) without having to help at all. Bonus!
*Not guaranteed. After all, what do I know? I'm a total beginner here too. As long as you all survive pretty much intact, mark it down as a win.
A Beginner's Guide To Christmas is a free festive short story. It's available to download from Amazon here
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